I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
