Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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