wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
