I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
