Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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