Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
