I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
