she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
