physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
