Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
