he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
