Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I want to have your abortion
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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