We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
