I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
