I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
