I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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