making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
