idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
