no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
there is glitter all over my balls
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
