I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Acid is not a monday night drug
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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