he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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