me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
