This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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