Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
