I just threw up on my dentist
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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