I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
