Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
