i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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