his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
