3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
