what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
