I think i peed on brittanys purse
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
