Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
