I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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