Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
