piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
