...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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