He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
