this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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