i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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