I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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