you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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