i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
