The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
