it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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