CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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