Sry I called you an 8
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
