I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
