Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
