Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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