Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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