sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
