Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
