Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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