Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
