i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
