No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
