Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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