the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
