It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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