He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize