just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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