is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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